Shut up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=170v7zmLlZU

About the game:

Company of Heroes is a real-time strategycomputer game developed by Relic Entertainment. It was released on September 12, 2006, and was the first title to make use of the Games for Windows label. A standalone expansion, Opposing Fronts, was released on September 25, 2007. A second standalone expansion, Tales of Valor was released in April 2009. Company of Heroes Online, an MMO version of the game was released as a free-to-play, microtransaction based game in South Korea in April 2010.^[1][2] Company of Heroes: Online Open Beta ended on March 31st, 2011. According to Relic Entertainment, the reason for the servers being shut down was the developers’ new unnamed RTS project which was to be unveiled in August 2011.^[3] It was announced on February 21, 2012 by Aspyr Media that they would be releasing Company of Heroes and all of the standalone expansions to the Mac OS X platform on March 1, 2012.^[4] This also happened, and Company of Heroes is now also available on the Mac App Store.

Company of Heroes is set during World War II. In the single-player campaign the player commands two U.S. military units during the Battle of Normandy and the Allied liberation of France. Depending on the mission, the player controls either Able Company of the 29th Infantry Division, or Fox Company of the 101st Airborne‘s 506th PIR.

Let me start by saying that CoH is one of my favorite RTS games of all time. A friend and I ran a network cable around 200 feet from one hut to another in Afghanistan, just so we could LAN during our down time. In between power outages, we put countless into this game over the course of our 15 month deployment.

Rewind to the deployment. During those days, I didn’t pay for many games. I(childishly) felt superior by being able to pirate every game I wanted to play. This was one of them but I wanted to buy it badly. I felt THQ deserved my money. Such a fantastic creation practically demands that its makers be well rewarded. In Afghanistan there wasn’t anywhere to pay for games except the locals who bootleg anything they can in hopes to make $2 from the Americans. So you can imagine my excitement when I saw it was only $5 on Amazon last week. I had at least 1 good CoH marathon I could get out of my buddy before Diablo III.

After downloading the game from Amazons fairly straight-forward downloader/installer, I come across issue after issue. I get a popup letting me know there’s patches I need to download. Makes sense, it’s a fresh installation. Now I have to install the Relic Patcher. Great, I love installing more useless software. Fine, whatever Relic. Take over my fucking computer.

Oh, it’s downloading the patches via a Relic torrent client. How hip of you Relic! Know how successful this was? Crash. Crash. Crash. Crash.

Ok, fuck patching it. I’ll just play single player for now, and figure it out later. The first screen you come to is a login page that requires you to login to Relic Online and is like the Martin Brodeur of login screens. You can’t register from this screen, and you can’t skip it. So if you don’t already have a Relic Online account, you’re pretty much screwed from the jump. Thanks for your money!

So I Google a little and find out you should be able to register from here. Maybe it’s something that would be fixed if I updated the game. Google for another 10 minutes to find the patches on THQ site. TORRENTS. Awesome. The patches I need total somewhere upwards of 2GB and it’s downloading in between 5 and 7KB. YESSSSSSSSSSSS.

I logon to filefront.com and queue up all the patches. I try the first one out and CoH tells me it doesn’t know where I have the game installed, check my registry and then crashes. Is the default installation directory really that hidden? When did the Program Files folder become the home of Bigfoot?

Fuck everything about this whole process. Just pirate it. Matter of fact, if anyone cares to run some matches for fun, I’ll post it on the site.

First game in this series is a perfect one to start with. I bought Capsized about 2 hours ago and I have to say, it’s probably the best $2 I’ve ever spent.

Here’s some info from the Steam page:

Capsized is a fast paced 2D platformer focused on intense action and exploration. As a intrepid space traveler, your ship has crash landed on a mysterious alien planet. You must navigate through the perilous environment and fight off blood-thirsty creatures to save your crewmates and escape with your lives!

Artist Jesse McGibney and programmer Lee Vermeulen create an immersive alien world teeming with bizarre life-forms and strange landscapes presented in a unique hand-drawn art style. Combining control elements of first person shooters and innovative physics based combat, Capsized emphasizes action without giving up the smart problem solving of classic platform games.

Use your jetpack to fly through the alien jungle, and tools such as the Gravity Hook to manipulate your environment to skilfully dodge and defeat attacking enemies. You will be challenged – with platforming, puzzle solving, and deadly skirmishing, often all at the same time!

I told Shadowen, this is the kind of game that I would die happy if I could ever make. I love everything about this game. It’s challenging but not insane. It’s a platformer, but a side scrolling shooter too. The art style is beautiful, and the audio is simply amazing. I’ve got the game running in the background right now just so I can listen to the music while I write this. It tells a great story without the need of dialogs and cut scenes.

Right now it’s 75% off on Steam, coming in at $2.49. If you don’t buy this, you should probably just throw $3 out the window because it would be like wasting the money if you didn’t buy Capsized.

Well, it’s the day we’ve been waiting for. Diablo III is coming out May 15th. Go pre-order it because you know you have no choice. If you had plans any time within the next 3 months, you might as well cancel it.

I would be forced to buy this and the astro Teemo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrOIgxQ–Tc

Pilot gets locked on to by a Javelin and an enemy plane, hops out, snipes enemy pilot and takes plan. Fucking. Insane.

The PBE just updated with a slew of new files, and among them are a ton labled “Fiora” in the champions section. We’ll update as we get more information.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dPWVK9vs5o

Fiora Abilities: Taken from the PBE client, so no idea on damage numbers, etc.

Passive – Duelist: Fiora regenerates health over 6 seconds each time she deals damage. Striking champions will cause this effect to stack up to 4 times.

Q – Lunge: Fiora dashes forward to strike her target, dealing physical damage. Fiora can perform the dash a second time within a couple seconds at no mana cost.

W – Ripost: (Passive) Fiora’s Attack Damage is increased. (Active) Fiora parries the next basic attack from a champion or monster and reflects magic damage back to the attacker.

E – Burst of Speed: Fiora gains Attack Speed for a couple seconds. Each basic attack or Lunge she lands during this time increases her Movement Speed, stacking.

R – Blade Waltz: Fiora dashes around the battlefield striking random champions dealing physical damage. Successive strikes against the same target deal less damage.

Rec Items:

(Classic) Dorans, GA, IE, Bloodthirster, Merc Treads, Ghostblade

(Dominion) Prospector’s, IE, Black Cleaver, Merc Treads, Ghostblade, Bloodrazer